“I want you to understand that
the head of every man is Christ,
the head of a wife is her husband,
and the head of Christ is God”
(1 Cor. 11.3)
“I could never submit to a man.” Feminism has borne much fruit in our times; men and women alike have purchased and partaken of that fruit, unaware of its poison. Beware the leaven of the feminists and husband-haters.
Hate for authority often comes from mistrust stemming from either real or imagined abuse. For instance, my wife was a little worried about getting married because she had close friends whose spouses wielded their husbandly authority like a bull whip. There is no good excuse for a husband to abuse his authority—it is never right however he might try to pretty it up and rationalize his actions. God did not give a husband the right to control his wife; he gave him the duty to love and protect her.
Over the years, a handful of women have projected the abusive actions of a subset of sinful husbands onto all of male-kind, fabricating an excuse for women not to fulfill their God-given roles and duties to their husbands. They have created fear and mistrust in the minds of many young girls, which has resulted in a severe drop in the number of marriages over the past decade or two. It has also resulted in brazen role-reversals in which women refuse to in any way submit to their husbands’ leadership and, instead, demand he follow her.
Everyone has a head, an authority over him or her. Even Christ, who has all authority in heaven and on earth, submits himself to the Father, who is over all. Jesus did not think his place of submission to the Father was unfair, unreasonable, or unhealthy.
Everyone understands the need for proper authority. Without it, chaos would reign. Our submission to governmental authorities makes for relative peace. The military moves and fights effectively because everyone recognizes and respects the authority structure from the top to the bottom. Rank in the military also does not indicate the value of the person. God values the soul of the military commander just as he values the soul of the lieutenant. In fact, the man in the trench may be a child of God while the Commander in Chief is lost in sin. Ranks of authority do not indicate spiritual value; neither do they indicate the goodness of a person’s character or level of knowledge.
In a family, God ordained the husband to be the head of the wife. That authority comes with special duties towards his wife. He is to love her and honor her. Paul writes further in 1 Cor. 11.7, “Woman is the glory of man.” He does not say, “Woman is to glorify her man,” as in pay him homage or praise him in the streets. No, she is the glory of her husband, like the glory which appeared in the Temple when Solomon first dedicated it. No one could enter it because the glory was so bright. The wife is a crown to adorn him, her head. The way she comports herself, treats him and the children, obeys Christ, and cares for the home shines as a glory to her husband.
It’s not like she fades into the background as the meek and lowly one, for how could she truly glorify him if she disappeared? Remember the worthy woman of Proverbs 31. She benefitted her husband tremendously because she worked hard, which included running a home business, purchasing property, and planting a vineyard. He had nothing to worry about with her in charge of the home.
Strong husbands follow Jesus’ example by directing their strength and abilities in healthy, helpful, constructive directions. Protecting and providing for their wives makes the glory in their marriages all the brighter.
Even if our wives do not respect us properly and if they are not fulfilling their God-given roles, our duty remains constant: we love and honor them. This is what it means to be in authority, to be the head. The buck stops here. The failures and successes of our homes rest on our shoulders at the end of every day.
Husband, your wife is the queen of your kingdom. Defend her viciously from outside attacks. Fortify your heart to be entirely faithful to her. Make sure she has the best tools to do her job as she keeps your castle. Love and honor her, and in so doing, you honor the Lord who is your head.