Hours earlier, Peter had boldly proclaimed, “Lord, I am ready to go with You both to prison and to death” (Luke 22.33) and, “If I must die with You, I will not deny You” (Mark 14.31).
Now he sat in the courtyard of the high priest’s house, within sight of the men who were mocking Jesus, slapping Him with their hands, and spitting on Him. It looked grim for Peter’s rabbi and Lord, and Peter struggled to maintain a low profile. However, three different people that night asked if he were not one of those Galileans who followed Jesus. “I don’t know the man,” Peter replied, increasingly insistent, going so far as to call judgment upon his head if he were lying.
Then the rooster crowed.
Peter’s mind swiftly recalled the Master’s words earlier that day, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times.”
What shame must have instantly filled Peter’s mind! What pervading remorse, what internal agony, what reciprocal disgust.
And the Lord turned and looked at Peter…and Peter went out and wept bitterly. (Luke 22.61-62)
Peter wept because he had so utterly failed the Lord, and he wept bitterly because Jesus knew everything. It wasn’t just that Peter’s sin was exposed (which was bad enough), but he loved the Lord and hated that he had just betrayed Him. How could Jesus ever forgive him of abandoning Him in His darkest hour?
Peter didn’t understand that Jesus was about to be nailed onto a board and hung up beside a busy road to die an agonizing death because of the sins of the world. Peter’s sin, in part, would drive Jesus to the cross—but also Jesus’ blood dripping down the cross would cover Peter’s sin.
What if every time I sinned I looked up and met the eyes of Jesus gazing knowingly at me? Would I feel the depth of my betrayal? Would I realize the pain I put Him through? Would I weep bitterly?
My sin, too, sent Him to that cross. I betrayed and denied Him, the very Son of God. Just like with Peter, Jesus knew I would take that path and commit that offense against Him. May I be so bold as to ask Jesus, “Would You pray for me like You prayed for Peter—that my faith will not fail?” I want Jesus holding on to me, helping me through my sin, restoring my soul and the joy of my relationship with Him.
Peter would later write, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.” (1 Pet. 1.3-6)
Yes, Peter was forgiven, and he gladly spent the rest of his life proclaiming the risen Christ and looking forward to his own crucifixion for Jesus’ sake. He would not deny the Lord again.
If I could look into the eyes of Jesus, perhaps He would cleanse me with His righteous gaze. Perhaps I would keel and weep because I would never want to betray or disappoint my Savior again.
But I can meet His gaze through the eyes of faith. In the mirror of His word, I stare into His eyes, know His righteous thoughts, and feel myself exposed to the one who loves me. He sees me. He knows my getting up and my lying down. He knows my every thought and deed.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Look into my eyes, Lord, and test the attitude of my heart.