Why are men drawn to the adulterous woman? Solomon starkly outlined the wiles of the forbidden woman in the first 9 chapters of Proverbs. Notice the common themes:
For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol (the grave); she does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it.
Proverbs 5.3–6
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life, to preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes; for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life. Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes into his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished.
Proverbs 6.23–29
And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart. She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home; now in the street, now in the market, and at every corner she lies in wait. She seizes him and kisses him, and with bold face she says to him, “I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows; so now I have come out to meet you, to seek you eagerly, and I have found you…”
Proverbs 7.10–15
With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life.
Proverbs 7.21–23
What does the seductive, forbidden, evil woman do in every case? She speaks! Her words are smooth, seductive, flattering.
Men see many beautiful women every day, but they don’t go running after all of them. However, when a woman begins to show interest in a man, flirting with him, telling him how strong or funny or skilled he is, playfully punching his arm from time to time, it attracts the man.
Why does this flattery appeal so strongly to men?
Men speak the language of respect; God designed us that way. When a woman pays attention to us and strokes our egos, she is telling us we are worthy of her consideration and time. She sees something valuable in us, and being incredibly wise, she recognizes how amazing we are. Right?
Wife, you should take notes. Understand this about your man. I suspect most women understand this intuitively, but wives sometimes seem to forget, and they stop paying attention to their man. Have you stopped telling him what you appreciate about him? Do you give him more negative input than positive? Have the scales tipped? Do you know how much power you have in your relationship to keep your husband happy and devoted to you?
If you don’t compliment your husband, another woman will, and your husband will be greatly tempted to start listening to her. He will think she sees the truth in him, and he’ll think you don’t respect him anymore.
Husbands, we need to understand this about ourselves, as Solomon warned his sons. Women will flatter and flirt with us, and we must not give them our ear. We should understand that these women are insecure, hungering for someone to pay them attention. Truly we should pity these women, but we should also know they are dangerous.
Joseph had the right idea—he fled swiftly from Potiphar’s wife who was trying to pull him into bed with her. Flee youthful lusts!
Don’t listen to the sweet, seductive words coming from that beautiful mouth over there. Do you understand what the word “forbidden” means? It means, “You touch it, you die,” just like that fruit Adam and Eve devoured. Once you’ve tasted, you cannot go back. There are no do-overs in this game.
Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.
Proverbs 5.15-19